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Sunday, December 11, 2005

Inspiration

I am a lazy, lazy person. To add to that, I'm very good at just getting by. These two flaws in my personality are the predominant factors working against my ability to succeed in life. I am one of the most fervent workers when it comes to something that truly stimulates me. If I am working on a computer problem (which I'm interested in) I can work for hours straight and not even realize it nor would I care about it. I just immerse myself until a solution is found. Same thing at my current job: my goal is to see as many people happy and enjoying themselves as I can. I simply focus on having fun with coworkers and customers and the time just melts away. Unfortunately, however, if I am put up to a task which I don't enjoy or is not the activity I want to be doing, I find myself a terrible worker with the worst work ethic known to man. For example, the past couple of summers when I've been working at Triple "L," I always started off very interested in what I was doing there. Yet, after a few weeks, I became bored and my efficiency went from excellent to pure crap. Another example would include my schoolwork. I don't do homework unless I need it to pass. This brings me to the next subject of gripetivity: squeaking by. I always manage to squeak past large obstacles. I never really fail out of a class, I've never been evicted, all these things I do wrong I never really learn my lesson because I never completely failed at them.

The music in my life has also fallen victim to my foibles. I have never been a very good music student because, while it's been a big interest of mine, I've always had other things I wanted to be doing right then. As time goes on, however, I find myself moving towards the light, so to speak. I've been getting more and more interested in playing. I now find myself wanting to play professionally, and in my current state that's not a solid option. I'm getting serious... I'm just taking my time.

Tonight I went to hear the Brass Band of Battle Creek perform their Christmas concert. The ensemble is a veritable horde of world-class players, and the two Euphonium players are arguably _the_ two best Euphonium players in the world. I was duly impressed upon. So tonight I came back and played my horn from about 12:30 until 1:15ish, when Campus Security came and kicked me out of the music building. Now I'm listening to recordings of various rehearsals that I made and making critical decisions about my tone and style and what-not.

I'm getting motivated. I have what it takes to be stellar, sans inspiration. If my motivation continues at this rate, soon I'll be spending countless hours on Euph rather than on the computer.

I'm willing to put in the work necessary to excel. I'm ready, so here goes. Wish me luck.